Insomnia 101: The Homeopathic Remedy

Hi, 

Since I’ve heard from a lot of people that you’ve been having trouble sleeping lately, I thought you’d appreciate this new homeopathic insomnia remedy I came across. Please note that this remedy may or may not only work today. But it’s still worth a try because like I said, everyone has been talking about you and how weird you’ve been acting on account of your lack of sleep. 

Okay, Step One: Purchase one way ticket to Provo, UT. See photo below for current flight options. 

Step Two: Walk out on to the nearest highway and stick out your RIGHT THUMB in conspicuous view of oncoming traffic. This is the international symbol for “I still think it’s 1972 and therefore assume all you people driving will understand that I am hitchhiking to a rock concert!!!!” 

Step Three: After two hours, give up hitchhiking and call a taxi cab. Since you won’t be in NYC anymore, you’ll need to give them a destination address, because that’s the way things work in rural america, so right this down: 135 North University Ave., Provo, UT, 84601 

Step Four: Use google maps to double check that UT actually stands for Utah. 

Step Five: Ask yourself “What the f@$k am I doing in Utah?”

Step Six: Tell the doorguy/girl/person at the entrance of the esteemed rock club “Velour” that you’re there to see Casey Shea. 

Step Seven: Pick up blanket and pillow as directed. 

Step Eight: I suggest you find a comfy spot closest to the soundman/woman/person because that’s usually where the mix sounds best.

Step Nine: Clap enthusiastically for Casey’s first song.

Step Ten: Apologize to the girl sleeping next to for inadvertently drooling all over her shoulder for the last 43 minutes.

Step Eleven: You can thank me for your nap later. 

Mwah!

M 

P.S. Here is a photo of the website you can go to in order to purchase tickets for the Casey Shea band’s show at Bowery Ballroom show next month! 

P.P.S. At that show, you’ll wanna ask for Wes Verhoeve when looking for the pillows and blankets.