Donationology 101: Proud To Accept American Express Travelers Checks

Hi,

Right now you’re not listening to the as yet untitled/released/sequenced/mastered/blahblahblah next album from The Dig. But I am. And yes, since you asked … It’s better than your record. Personally I would probably double or triple all the vocals. But then again not everyone is as big a fan of Diary Of A Madman as me. Which of course makes anyone who’s not as big a fan of Diary Of A Madman as me wrong. Or at least have bad taste. 

Oh, and speaking of all the people I’m glad I don’t live next door to, did you know that there’s a wall along most of the border between the country of Mexico and a place called The State of Arizona? And did you know that each and every beautiful mile of said wall cost between one and three million US Dollars??? Wow, that’s some mucho dinero! And did you also know that of the three hundred and eighty eighty miles of beautiful border between the greatest country in the history of wall building inciters and the US, all but about eighty two miles are graced with this here wall I’ve been thinking about this morning???? Apparently I’m not the only person thinking about this here wall. Apparently something called The Arizona State Legislature has been thinking about not only the wall itself but about the aforementioned eighty two miles of shall we say, unwalled paradise. To prove how much they’ve been thinking (and to stick a needle in the eye of The Big O. who’s decided to let the wall building stop for a minute), the good folks that make up the Arizona State Legislature passed something called “a piece of legislation” that created something called “a fund set up by the State of Arizona that will use private donations” to continue the wall along the once again aforementioned eighty two miles of unwalled border paradise. That’s right kids!!! The good people of pretty much anywhere can donate to a fund to finish building a physical wall between Arizona and Mexico. As I said, I’ve been thinking about this all morning. It seems really interesting to me. I guess that explains why I’ve been thinking about it. To wit, I’d like to personally amend this government sanctioned program that encourages to people pony up some green back in order to physically shut themselves off from the realities of the world around them and encourage people to donate to an additional fund. This new fund is of course called “The Matt Basile Fund To Build A Wall Around The Entire Border Of The State Of Arizona.” If you too would like to see a wall built around the entire border of Arizona, simply send $82.00 via check, money order or box of spare change to: Matt Basile, P.O. Box 1340, New York, NY 10013. When I get your money I will remember to deposit it into my personal checking account (wherein on the 20th of every month, $250 dollars is automatically transfered into a savings account that I hope to pretty much forget about until I turn eighty two and bequeath my money to the IRS). For every one to three million dollars I receive, I promise to try and remember to build one mile of wall around some portion of the Arizona border. 

In related news, now I’m gonna go try to not break my neck. 

Mwah! 

M

P.S. Tell your friends in Grand Rapids to got to The Intersection tomorrow night.