Posts tagged "barack obama"

mother feather misty boyce barack obama cabdragon tattoo Rich Girls steve wall blondie

Jul 01

Correspondence 101: (no subject)

Hi, 

I think I have a stalker. Now, I know many of you won’t be surprised. Most people bearing such genetic gifts have to deal with the nuisance of an unwanted admirer at some or another point in their genetically gifted life. Why should I be any different? But I have to say, I think my particular stalker might be a little different than yours. Because while your stalker also probably clicks “Send Snyway” when prompted by the “Warning: This message has no subject. Are you sure you want to send it?” dialog box of his/her email program when sending you some emotionally awkward and poorly worded reminder invitation to some dinner event you never remembered hearing about in the first place, something tells me the signature of your stalker is not the signature of the third most powerful person in the world (behind of course the genius husband and wife team of Chang Jin Sook and Do Won). 

Oh, and speaking of invitations … Next week is a good week for you to come see how big my hair gets in the summer. First up, the indomitable Misty Boyce will grace the stage at a place called Mercury Lounge. From what I understand it sounds better when you stand next to the sound man but still not as good as the guy who bangs on a frisbee with a bunch of duct tape wrapped around his fingers about 2/3rds of the way into the unbearably long tunnel connecting the 123 Line with the FM or L Lines at 14th Street and 7th Ave. and 6th Ave. respectively. Make sure to click this sentence to be linked to a place where you can buy tickets for the show. Or you could choose to not listen to me and go to stubhub.com. Go ahead, buy your tickets there. You’ll definitely be glad you didn’t listen to me. 

In unrelated news, but still in keeping with places you can go to see me having a good hair day, the Mother Feather postcard is of course the obvious focal point of the following digital representation of the lamest city on earth … 

… What I won’t mention is how f#@king lame the a$@h)le with the umbrella looks and why he serves as further proof that my life is so much better since I sold my car and stopped having to invite people to shows at The Viper Room. 

Anyway, assuming you are not the kind of person to look like an a$%hole when you walk down the street with an umbrella in the summer in Southern California, you are totally cordially invited to come see Mother Feather next week at a place called Bowery Ballroom. From what I understand it sounds better when you stand next to the sound man but still not as good as the guy who bangs on a frisbee with a bunch of duct tape wrapped around his fingers about 2/3rds of the way into the unbearably long tunnel connecting the 123 Line with the FM or L Lines at 14th Street and 7th Ave. and 6th Ave. respectively.

In related news, I’m making an appointment for this …

Finally, the astute among you will notice that a failed rocker band called Rich Girls is heading into the studio on August 5th. Truth be told, if you actually remember the band Rich Girls and subsequently had the opportunity to witness the forthcoming recording session, you would probably say “Hey, only one of these really good looking guys was in Rich Girls! Who are these other two really good looking guys and how can I get them to come over to my house and watch a movie?” And I would say “Maybe you should send them an emotionally awkward and poorly worded message via some or another social media site. And I’ll tell you more about how excited I am to have some new(ish) tunes be recorded by Steve Wall when I feel like it!”

Mwah!

M

P.S. Speaking of stalkers …

P.P.S. Happy Birthday Debby …

P.P.P.S. I saw you sing once …

P.P.P.P.S. And you were totally drunk …

P.P.P.P.P.S. …

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Re: This Old Apartment 101, I almost forgot to tell you …

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. We are almost ready to invite you over for dinner …

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. …


1
Mitch McConnell barack obama Aaron Nevezie The Bunker Misty Boyce Claire London Public Assembly

Jul 13

English Grammar 101: Sgt. Scott Moore Says Mila Kunis Marine Ball Invite Was “Kind of a Bet”

Hi,

For today’s lesson in “How To Be A Racist While At Once Not Losing Your Job And Garnering Additional Respect From Fellow Racists” please say hello to our special guest Mitch McConnell, distinguished Senator from a state located south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Hi Mitch!!!! Now, read the next sentence and notice how Mitchy Mitch deftly omits all the words like n_ _ _ _ r, c_ _ n, d_ _ _ y and half b_ _ _ d and replaces them with the all encompassing “this president” in order to sum up his point about about the supposed incompetence, thievery, and general ineptitude of The Big O.  ”… I have little question that as long as this president is in the Oval Office, a real solution is unattainable.” On a scale of 1- 10, 1 being Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and 10 being David Duke, I’ll give the good senator an 11. 

In unrelated news about white people, this sentence links to a website that I still think is funny. 

In other unrelated news about white people, I did some great recording the other day at a place called the Bunker. Wait. Sorry. That was a bad sentence. That was a sentence akin to the following two sentences often heard when you’re the bass player in a band. “_[so and so]_ is coming up  to sing with me on this next song. _[he / she]_ is also a great artist, so you should totally check out their stuff.” And no, the gramatical error involving singular vs. plural usages is not mine, thats just the way people talk. Fortunately for all the white people I play with, poor grammar isn’t gonna hold them back in society. Anyway, the sentence was bad because in the context of this weblog it sounded like I was saying that I was doing such a great job of performing even though what it was actually saying was that I was doing a great job or recording. Neither are really true. Even if I did do a great job of performing in the studio, I would never say that because saying something like would make me afraid that you would think I was an a@&hole. Nobody wants that. What I was trying to say was that I really enjoyed myself while I was recording with ______ ______ over at a place called The Bunker with a guy named Aaron Nevezie. Can’t wait to hear the finished product of the two songs we worked on and to be sure that no one will get into trouble for me telling you who’s band it was. The point for now is that if you have to make a digital representation of a song you wrote, you should definitely consider the services of The Bunker. Full stop.

In totally and completely unrelated news, I’m playing tomorrow night with newly engaged Misty Boyce at a place called Public Assembly for an event called Women Rock. Needles to say, it’s gonna seem pretty weird if no one shows up and Misty starts playing ballads. And, Mr. Brown and Mr. Schonerhornerherhoehnerer and I will be joining the also rocking Claire London directly following the aforementioned rocking Misty Boyce. All this starts at 10ish.

I’m gonna go now and send a few long overdue dinner invites. 

Mwah! 

M

P.S. Congrats …


barack obama brooklyn indie fest shanna zell kris gruen rockwood music hall little field andy fitzpatrick Double Bass

Sep 14

Politics 101: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?

Hi, 

This morning I woke up to the following digital representation of a sideways email …

Come tell me how jealous you are tonight when I’ll be at The Living Room playing a double header with Shanna Zell at 9pm and Kris Gruen at 10pm. 

And, just in case all the bands fortunate enough to be performing at the Brooklyn Indie Fest haven’t been promoting their pretty little band butts off, later this week you’ll have the chance to go to Little Field in Brooklyn for the aforementioned Brooklyn Indie Fest. Once you’re there you’ll be invited to pay anywhere from $23 to $55 to see a bunch of bands that usually play at Rockwood Music Hall for FREE. Now, if that doesn’t sound like business acumen, I don’t know what does. 

Mwah! 

M

P.S. Speaking of business acumen …

P.P.S. By special invitation Mr. Andy Fitzpatrick will once again grace the stage of the aforementioned Rockwood Music Hall this Sunday at 10pm. 

P.P.P.S. There’s a pretty good chance you’ll see me playing double bass at that show. 

P.P.P.P.S. Holy crap.